Dear You Part 9

Dear You,

My faithful shadow, that’s what you are. You’re there when I need you, even if I didn’t always know it. For all those years, I knew you didn’t like him, didn’t trust him from the beginning. I should have listened. You wouldn’t come it, but stayed just outside, an outcast in your own home. The ironic thing is, I wouldn’t have you if not for him. It’s funny how things work out like that.

Sweet is the perfect word to describe you. There isn’t an ounce of meanness in you, even when your brother fights with you and you can’t defend yourself, all you do is hiss then lick his face. You can’t be mean, it isn’t in your nature. Those deep, soul-piercing eyes are always filled with love. That’s my favorite thing about you. Some people think it’s creepy how you stare at them because your eyes are so round and intense, but I know you’re just sizing them up, making sure they’re worthy. I trust your judgment over mine. I’m sorry I didn’t before.

You’ve been rendered defenseless, but not by my choice. I wouldn’t have done it if she hadn’t made me. That day was awful. I cried when I dropped you off. I thought she was so mean for making me take you, I couldn’t believe she made me do it, I resented her for that for a long time. A few days after you came back, I let you out of my room and you bolted downstairs to perch on your favorite chair in the dining room and chewed on the glue and stitches. I found blood on the white cushion and my initial reaction was,  “Serves her right for making me do this to you,” immediately followed by, “She’s going to kill me if she finds this!” So I cleaned it up and, luckily, it came out. That’s our little secret.

There was a time that I didn’t appreciate or understand how much you wanted to protect me. It took him being out of my life to realize that, and I’m terribly sorry. I will never let that slip my mind again. I look forward to coming home and seeing you sitting on my bed, sprawled out like a bear cub, yellow-green eyes gleaming because I’m home. The adoration and love that you emit I was unworthy of for a long time, but I promise to make that up to you every day. You’re my favorite. I know I’m not supposed to have favorites, but I do. And that’s you.

Thank you for your trust. I’ll make sure it’s well placed.

**A**