Number 3

To be honest, I was going to do a check-in on my New Year’s resolutions today (it seemed fitting since it’s been a month so far in the new year) but my third resolution has been bothering me for some time now, so I think I just have to focus on that one. New Year’s resolution number three also happens to be my number three from last year, and since it didn’t happen (quite frankly, I wasn’t ready for it last year) I’ve decided to continue it on my list this year. My resolution is… to go on a date. Oh, there, I said it! Phew. (Wipes sweat from brow). That was difficult. I’ve said it out loud, well in writing, and now I feel a little better. For those of you who don’t know me, I’ll fill you in on why I’ve made it a resolution to go on a date this year.

Short version: Broke up with my ex-boyfriend three years ago after a seven year relationship (I really don’t recommend staying with your high school ‘sweetheart’ because after a few years, it’s not so sweet) He cheated, I found out, broke up with him, and have been single ever since. Can’t really blame me though, because I was thoroughly disgusted with men for a while, until I realized that not everyone is a cheater, liar, manipulator… okay I’m done with that.

I’ve heard that it takes half the amount of the length of the relationship to actually get over someone. Well, seven divided by two is three and a half, so I’m basically there. I’ve been there for a while. After the whole cheating on me thing, I was pretty much over it then, I just needed time to find myself (literally, I put on a few pounds over the last years of the relationship because I was in a huge depression that I didn’t actually realize I was in until it was over). There were a lot of lessons learned during that time for which I’m truly grateful for, and although it ended poorly, there were a lot of good times too. As I’ve said before, things happen for a reason, and that relationship ending was the best thing that’s ever happened to me (even though I was cheated on, ugh. That still gets to me). By putting my resolution out there, I’m basically asking for everyone to keep me in check and not let me back out if I actually get asked out (which may or may not happen… I’ve still got a few insecurities when it comes to guys because I’m female). I haven’t actually put together any guidelines for my dating resolution, so perhaps I should do that here.

1.      I won’t do the actual asking out. Sorry, I’m not into the whole role-reversal thing where women chase men. I’ll express interest and give you five million signs if I’m interested, but you have to go that last step. I’m not typically old-fashioned, but that’s something I appreciate.

2.      Nothing fancy—I’m not asking anyone to spend a fortune on dinner or anything, I’m totally chill and a fun day of walking around Fairhaven or Boulevard would be fine with me. Or something more creative. Just not expensive.

3.      I won’t say yes just to be nice. As much as I’m making it a point to go out on a date sometime within the next eleven months, I’m not going to just say yes to someone I’ve no actual interest in dating again. Sorry boys, but it’s for the best.

4.      End of the date kiss optional—but that’s as far as it goes. It’s been three years, but I’m not desperate. If the kiss happens it happens, and if there’s no ‘chemistry’, ‘spark’, or other term for the feeling in your blood when you know someone fits you well, then it’s whatever. As I said, I’m pretty chill.

I think those four details outline what I’m looking for in my resolution… Part two is actually finding someone that I’m interested in. I think I’ll embellish that at another time, although I do have to say that it’s pretty difficult, especially in the town I work in because every guy over the age of 20 is already married with a baby. No joke. (Alright not every guy, but 75%).

So, now I’m here, working hard on myself and my writing, the two most important things to me (I wouldn’t have been able to say that three years ago, that’s for sure). I’m loving what I’m doing for myself, and my friends are amazing, but I’m missing that one guy hangout factor in my life. I’m not looking for a serious relationship because that’s all I’ve ever known and there’s still a hint of worry at losing myself again if I jump into something, but going out on a date seems like a good start for me. I have to clarify that I don’t want to sound pathetic or needy, I’m just throwing the fact out there that I’m done being by myself and I miss being able to just flirt with someone and talk to someone. Yup, it’s pretty much just like that.

Hi, I’m Me, this is what I do, wanna hang out?

That’s all I’m hoping for.