Single Awareness Day

So, I might come to regret this later, but I’m already half a bottle of wine in and at this point, there’s no going back. I’m sitting here, watching P.S. I Love You, which is an amazingly romantic comedy that I happen to love, and not just because I’ve visited the bridge in Ireland where they meet for the first time (‘they’ being Gerard Butler and Hilary Swank, who star in it) but because I love what this movie is all about. I tend to ramble a little apparently when I’ve had a drink or two, so forgive me if I get sidetracked. So, as I said, sitting here watching this sappy lovely movie, and I remember that tomorrow is V-Day.… yes, Valentine’s Day, Hallmark’s numero uno day for cards and such, and the candy and flower companies’ wet dream. There’s something I’ve never quite understood about Valentine’s Day: WHY IS IT SUCH A BIG DEAL??? Before you get all “oh, she’s bitter,” on me, just listen for a second. It’s crazy. It’s a holiday created to shove everybody’s noses that aren’t in love or who aren’t with somebody in it and show them how despairingly alone they are. Every commercial on television is “Get her diamonds, she’ll love you forever,” or “Buy her these flowers, or him this phone,” but really, it’s just all about businesses using people’s weaknesses against them to force them into buying something for someone who might not even be around next year. Seriously.

I’m a girl who’s been hurt a few times by guys who genuinely don’t give a shit, and so I have an extremely difficult time wrapping my head around this ‘holiday’ that’s only focus is to buy things for someone to say “I love you,” because apparently there’s no other way to show/say/express this feeling. As you can tell, I believe Valentine’s Day to be absolutely ridiculous, but it could stem from the fact that I can’t remember ever having a decent date on V-Day. I was in a relationship for seven years, and the only time I remember actually doing something was when we were first dating at the tender age of 15 (me) and 16 (him) and he picked me up from Driver’s ED and we went to Taco Time. This was the same guy that I dated for 7 years, and the first V-Day was the best. Okay, maybe it’s just because I think the men in my life have been pathetic and haven’t treated me all that well, self-centered is the word I think I’m looking for.

This commercial I just saw said, “Valentine’s Day is not to say ‘I love you,’ it’s to say ‘I love us,’ and I have to say that that’s the best marketing I’ve heard so far. I rather enjoyed hearing that commercial, and to be honest I can’t remember what it was for, but the message stayed with me. See, I’m not the bitter, cold-hearted, cynical bitch that I might sound like sometimes, I do really love love, (or else I wouldn’t watch so many romantic comedies. I seriously own the world’s largest collection of romantic comedies) but I’ve gotten the short end of the stick so to speak, when it comes to love. Something my ex-boyfriend told me that still burns in the back of my head (obviously, it’s been 3 years, and I still remember it quite distinctly) he said that I’m lucky in life, just not lucky in love. OUCH. Fucking ouch. Ya. That one hurt. As I stood in the living room, tears streaming down my eyes as he told me he was in love with somebody else, he told me this, as if my heart hadn’t been broken enough, each piece shattered even more at that statement. Unlucky in love. It still hurts even thinking those words, but, unfortunately, I can’t say he’s wrong.

Whatever. Dick.                       

So, back to this whole Valentine’s Day business, I’ve unintentionally participated by buying wine and chocolate to indulge in on my cheat day (my one day a week where I can have something that isn’t very good for me so that I don’t go insane from eating healthy all the time) and it kind of pisses me off. I’d be buying the wine anyway because it’s delicious (if you haven’t had F8 cabernet, I highly suggest it because it’s awesome) and I’m annoyed because it was on sale just because it’s Valentine’s Day. That sounds crazy, I know. Deal with it. Even Swiffer uses this time of year to sell their sweepers. Just saw a commercial that had Dirt and Mud complaining about not finding love, and then BAM! The Swiffer duster comes along and picks up Dirt. Haha, right, picks up Dirt. Dumb.

Alright, I’m going to stop before I start to sound overly depressed and bitter. I promise I’m not, even if I am rolling my eyes at the thought of dealing with tomorrow. I talked to my mom tonight and she’s kind of in the same boat I am, we’re both just chilling, kind of hanging out by ourselves while everyone that we know has a husband, or second husband, or boyfriend, and we’re just riding solo, as it were. But that’s okay. I’m totally fine with that. I just wish that there wasn’t a holiday that made me see so clearly how alone I am. However, on a positive note, Kathy Bates said, “If we’re all alone, then we’re in that together,” which is so true (that’s from P.S. I Love You, in case you were wondering. I don’t often spout off random Kathy Bates quotes. Promise). Being alone isn’t so bad. I just have to remember those times when I was actually with someone and was treated like shit in order to solidify the fact that sometimes alone is better.

But, Valentine’s Day still gets dual middle fingers from me. With a smile, of course.  

P.S. Roommate just got home, asked me what I was doing. After I told her I was writing a post for my blog, she goes, “Oh, yeah, writing about Single Awareness Day?” I hate being predictable.